Busy being a mother and a wife and taking on the biggest challenge yet, a permanent move across the world. Read here my random thoughts, feelings and stories about my life that is about to be turned upside down (literally).

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Real Truth

This move to the other side of the world seems so close but is yet still so far away. I'm standing at the edge of the cliff, waiting for our house to sell and when I sign on the dotted line that is when I will jump in feet first (or fall off screaming). I am so afraid that the only thing that is holding me together right now is the fact that we do not have a specific move date yet. The move is real, it is in the works, my immigration application is in progress, our family and friends all know of our plans, we've informed the schools yet it still doesn't feel real. I put a smile on my face and tell my friends how excited I am, I cheerfully talk about it on Facebook and Twitter but to tell you the truth, I'm terrified. I am a creature of comfort, I love my little house, I love my routine and that I get to stay at home with my kids. I love that it is only my husband and I who look after our kids, and they don't go anywhere without us. I guess what I am most afraid of is giving up my control, control over my life that I have wrapped up nicely in a warm comfy blanket, safe from all of the world. My in-laws will be very involved in the kids life, the kids will be spending weekends with them, they will be driving them around town, Poppy will take them to see his horses (don't get me started on horses). I will have to learn how to drive on the wrong side of the road, and navigate my way through round-abouts and streets in a city 5 times the size I am used to. I will have to work, I haven't had a full time job in almost 5 years, I don't remember what its like to get dressed in real life clothes and get myself to work. How am I going to do that plus get 2 kids ready for school and day care, AND drive them there on the wrong side of the road. I worry about all the things that are going to be more expensive, houses, clothes, food. I worry about the flight over there, I am terrified of flying, and then there will be sharks and spiders and snakes and droughts and bush fires to deal with. Okay so I know I'm getting a little carried away but these fears are all real to me. All these fears and worries are lingering at the edge of my mind, waiting for the move date to be set so that they can drown me and I will not know how to surface.
I tend to underestimate myself , A LOT, and I hope this will become the case here as well because I have no idea how I am going to face the reality of all this when the time comes.


  1. Oh, I feel for you. I would be completely F.R.E.A.K.I.N.G - O.U.T! if I was moving... well, anywhere apart from my province or the province next door.

    Good luck. You will manage. It will likely be so tough at first, but you'll get through it and thrive! xo


    1. You will be driving on the left - but so will everyone else. You will still be in the middle of the road as the driver - it's not as bad as it sounds.

    2. You can buy everything you could ever want to eat here - http://www.capitalregionfarmersmarket.com.au/
    This produce wins awards. And it is fun and the people are lovely.

    3. It is equidistant from the beach and the snow (such that it is in Australia)

    4. The government doesn't control alcohol sales and you can buy it in supermarket - yes really!

    5. Canberra is very easy to get around and you can get everywhere is about 30 minutes or less.

    6. The ACT Government and the Australian Government are great employers and offer a huge range of jobs.

    7. Yes we do have spiders and snakes. You won't see many that can hurt you. With a few tips you can avoid them all together (I was bitten by a red back and survived - no one had died since 1953 when the antivenin was introduced.

    8. Questacon - you have kids, enough said.

    9. It is has proper seasons - autumn is spectacular, and it hardly ever snows.

    10. You already know some people who live here - US. And we are great!

    Oh and one more thing, we are a long way from the United States.


  3. plenty of Australians will tell you Canberra ain't REALLY Australia, but that's a bit narky! but get used to the roundabouts … i travel to Canberra every couple of year and driving there still frightens me. bugs, spiders, etc, no so much … AND we had Canadian work exchangers out here last year (Central Coast NSW) and we did EVENTUALLY get her out into the backyard!

    good luck with the house etc. it will all be over before you know it and you will wonder what you worried about!

  4. I remember when I moved to London, Ontario (only 2 hours away from home) for school and I was freaked out (AND I even came home EVERY weekend). While my part-time move to London is definitely not the same as moving to Australia, I can imagine the feelings that you must be having.

    Totally normal for you to be a little apprehensive about all the changes that are about to happen but it is also quite exciting. It'll all be so overwhelming at first but I have no doubt that you will chip away at each task one at a time beautifully and there will be a day that will come when you will look back and wonder why you were so worried in the first place (and I'll be glad to say "I told you so."). You will be a little homesick, but in time, it'll be easier to bear.

    One thing I've learned in becoming a mom is that women have this inate ability to survive and persevere. We rise to the challenges and overcome the hurdles because we don't know how else to do it. I have no doubt that will be you AND on those days, when it just seems a little bit tougher than others, know that you have friends on both sides of the Pacific who will be there for you and who will cheer you on.

  5. This is interesting because some of my worries about doing the opposite move to you are similar, and some are different. I worry about driving on the other side of the road, and leaving the comfortable routine and friends that I know for an unfamiliar environment. I also worry about leaving a reasonably moderate climate (apart from the stinking hot couple of months in summer) to temperatures so freezing the kids (I presume) won't be able to jump on the trampoline in the backyard for months at a time. Will we even be able to have a trampoline? All of the outdoor stuff we take for granted - getting the kids out of the house to go to the park, walk to the shops, even driving somewhere - how does this happen in the snow? Just having the doors and windows open in the house and lettign the breeze blow through is a pleasure I take for granted living here. I'm not much of a beach person but I do like to head down there at sunset and have fish and chips while the kids have a paddle - we won't be able to do that anymore. What about the heating bills you guys must have? On the upside, there is gun control and universal health care in Canada so I'd be far more worried about the lack of those things in the States. But what about those grizzly bears? ;-)

  6. Thank you lovelies for your wonderful re-assuring comments, I need the reminders that all will be well. The other side of the world can be a daunting place if it is not what is your norm, I have been to Australia and am blessed with a loving family and group of friend there who will ease my worries as well (or make fun of me for being so scared of spiders)