I have been given a gift, I've embraced this gift and it has opened my eyes. The gift of seeing my world in a whole new way. I have taken for granted the beauty that surrounds me, the seasons that carry me and the country that I love. Knowing that I will soon be saying goodbye to my life here in Canada, I have taken so much time and care to appreciate all of it. The birch trees that are scattered along the back field, how they glisten in the moon light. The loons I hear all summer on the lake as they sing to each other in the darkness. The rich beautiful tones in the trees as they turn colours in the fall, and the crunch of their leaves under my feet. The first snowfall which is the most beautiful one of all, light airy flakes that lightly fall and dust the ground. The hearty fire in our wood stove on cold cold days and sunny winter days that stream warm sunshine into my front window. The sleek frozen lake, spending hours on it skating, its wide vast surface that could take me miles and miles. The tobogganing track we work hard to build each winter and the snowmen and snowforts that are scattered on our back lawn. We caught a quick taste of spring last week, an unseasonable warm day with that distinctive spring smell bringing feelings of hope and renewed energy, motivating us to hang on for the last leg of winter.
In the past 8 months I have taken the extra time each day to really feel each moment. I watch my children discovering many of these beautiful moments as well and I ingrain in my memory the look on their faces, the pure joy of it all. This is how we should always live our life, like we will never walk by that beautiful maple tree again.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Opposites Attract
Although I've seen it many times, I was really intrigued today watching my two boys eat cupcakes. J, my 4 year old carefully licked off the icing savoring every taste and leaving an undressed cupcake sitting on his plate. H, my 2 year old casually swept the icing off with his finger smearing it onto the plate leaving him with a moist delicious cupcake which quickly turned into crumbs on his iced plate.
They fascinate me, these two boys who were created in the same way by the same parents. J's eyes are soft and hazel, H has the brightest blue eyes you've ever seen. J has olive skin, H is fair and light. From before they were born they were different, I sailed through J's pregnancy, a little nausea, a lot of energy, little discomfort and after a relatively slow and easy labour he popped out a week early weighing 6.8 lbs. H's pregnancy was the opposite, I was so sick that I lost 15lb in my first trimester, I had heartburn, varicose veins and he decided to stay in 7 days past his due date. When he was ready to come out he let me know with quick onset of extremely painful labour and a difficult delivery. He weighed in at a hearty 8lb 11oz. J was a great sleeper, sleeping through the night at 2 months old. H still wakes up throughout the night and in his first year of life I don't think I got to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. J kicks his covers off in the night, H likes to snuggle deep under his blankets. J is petite and tiny, the smallest in his class, H is a big boy, almost as tall as his brother and close to wearing the same size. J is rambunctious, energetic and very independent, H likes to sit back and watch, he's a big cuddler and an even bigger mamas boy. J loves to sing and dance and do puzzles, H likes to line up his cars and play trains. When not happy with how things are going with each other J will fight with words, H will hall out and belt him. J is stubborn, H is easily persuaded.
Each day I notice how very different these boys are and I wonder what their relationship will be in the future. Will they grow apart because of their differences or will their opposite nature attract.
When H was born a girlfriend posted a comment on my Facebook wall congratulating me on his birth and stated that he and his brother will one day stand as best men for each other on their wedding days and at that moment I realized that no matter what they do in life, nothing would make me prouder.
They fascinate me, these two boys who were created in the same way by the same parents. J's eyes are soft and hazel, H has the brightest blue eyes you've ever seen. J has olive skin, H is fair and light. From before they were born they were different, I sailed through J's pregnancy, a little nausea, a lot of energy, little discomfort and after a relatively slow and easy labour he popped out a week early weighing 6.8 lbs. H's pregnancy was the opposite, I was so sick that I lost 15lb in my first trimester, I had heartburn, varicose veins and he decided to stay in 7 days past his due date. When he was ready to come out he let me know with quick onset of extremely painful labour and a difficult delivery. He weighed in at a hearty 8lb 11oz. J was a great sleeper, sleeping through the night at 2 months old. H still wakes up throughout the night and in his first year of life I don't think I got to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. J kicks his covers off in the night, H likes to snuggle deep under his blankets. J is petite and tiny, the smallest in his class, H is a big boy, almost as tall as his brother and close to wearing the same size. J is rambunctious, energetic and very independent, H likes to sit back and watch, he's a big cuddler and an even bigger mamas boy. J loves to sing and dance and do puzzles, H likes to line up his cars and play trains. When not happy with how things are going with each other J will fight with words, H will hall out and belt him. J is stubborn, H is easily persuaded.
Each day I notice how very different these boys are and I wonder what their relationship will be in the future. Will they grow apart because of their differences or will their opposite nature attract.
When H was born a girlfriend posted a comment on my Facebook wall congratulating me on his birth and stated that he and his brother will one day stand as best men for each other on their wedding days and at that moment I realized that no matter what they do in life, nothing would make me prouder.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Zucchini In My Cake (recipe)
In my quest to completely eliminate wheat, dairy and eggs from my diet (see why HERE ) I have taken to flipping through my cherished 3 ringed binder full of family favourite recipes to see what I can re-invent.
One of my favourites is Chocolate Zucchini Cake, passed on to me from my Mom during the summer of 2005 when my eagerness to produce a lovely vegetable garden resulted in a Zucchini overgrow. After many deliveries of giant Zucchini's to my neighbours I was still left with a pile of my own to deal with. I made every Zucchini recipe I could find and was not at all surprised when my husband banned me from growing Zucchinis the following summer.
This weekend I decided to turn this yummy Chocolate Zucchini Cake recipe into one that I can eat, one my husband and kids would enjoy as well. So with a few tips from my Twitter friend Maggie, who has a very resourceful Gluten Free baking and living website, I was on my way.
( Maggie's great recipes & tips are at She Let Them Eat Cake )
My biggest concern about re-inventing this recipe was that in knowing how delicious the original flavour of the cake was, my altered one would not compare. I was up for the challenge anyway. Yes it does taste a bit different, it is not as moist and a little less sweet but overall is still very similar and I'm loving it. The most important part is that it passed the husband and kid test with flying colours. They are begging for more.
So here you go:
One of my favourites is Chocolate Zucchini Cake, passed on to me from my Mom during the summer of 2005 when my eagerness to produce a lovely vegetable garden resulted in a Zucchini overgrow. After many deliveries of giant Zucchini's to my neighbours I was still left with a pile of my own to deal with. I made every Zucchini recipe I could find and was not at all surprised when my husband banned me from growing Zucchinis the following summer.
 |
| The fruits (veggies) of my labour |
This weekend I decided to turn this yummy Chocolate Zucchini Cake recipe into one that I can eat, one my husband and kids would enjoy as well. So with a few tips from my Twitter friend Maggie, who has a very resourceful Gluten Free baking and living website, I was on my way.
( Maggie's great recipes & tips are at She Let Them Eat Cake )
My biggest concern about re-inventing this recipe was that in knowing how delicious the original flavour of the cake was, my altered one would not compare. I was up for the challenge anyway. Yes it does taste a bit different, it is not as moist and a little less sweet but overall is still very similar and I'm loving it. The most important part is that it passed the husband and kid test with flying colours. They are begging for more.
So here you go:
Chocolate Zucchini Cake (my style)
 | |
| They look and taste as good as brownies |
You'll need:
1/2 cup canola oil
1 3/4 cup sucanat (un-refined)
(Maggie suggested I could also use Evapourated cane sugar - refined but not bleached)
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
......
2 3/4 cup gluten free all purpose flour
(I used a brand I got at No-Frills called Bobs Red Mill)
5 Tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
....
1/2 cup almond milk
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups grated zucchini
(I don't peel mine because I like the look of the little green flecks in the cake, but unpeeled is a better way to conceal the fact that there are vegetables in the cake)
....
Handful of chocolate chips and chopped nuts (walnuts or pecans)
Pre-Heat oven to 350 ยบ
In large bowl add canola oil, sucanat, & applesauce, mix well.
In separate bowl mix, flour, cocoa, salt, baking soda & powder, stir together and add to the wet mixture.
Blend well.
Stir in almond milk, vanilla, and grated zucchini.
Pour into greased 9x13 or 10x10 pan
Sprinkle chocolate chips and nuts on top
Bake for 45 - 50 minutes.
Let cool, cut into squares & serve.
Enjoy :)
Monday, January 31, 2011
Reaching Out
J went to a birthday party this past weekend, most of the kids from his JK class were there including their parents. I casually mingled with other mothers while J had a great time. There was one mother that I did not approach, and the regret that I didn't has been weighing on my shoulders more than I expected.
J had a great start to JK in September, he is a very sociable kid, he skipped on to that big yellow school bus without a look over his shoulder while I stood at the side of the road sobbing like a little girl.
Within a couple weeks of starting school I noticed that he was speaking in another tone, he was mimicking the voice of another child, he also spoke highly of a new friend and I was encouraging of this relationship. Then J's behaviour got a bit more aggressive at home, he was talking back, shouting and being defiant, all in this new tone of voice. I attributed it to him picking up bad habits from other students at school. In October I began to volunteer in his classroom, my first experience in the class room was witnessing the very challenging behaviour of one student. He was being mouthy, disobedient, and rude, and to my surprise I realised that this was the friend that J had been raving about, and it was this boys voice I heard coming from J each night after school. It was in this first visit that the teacher took the opportunity to chat to me about her concerns that J was being easily influenced by this boys behavior and asked if I would like them to be separated from sharing the same table and kept in separate play groups when possible.
I immediately said yes and the plan was in place, within weeks J had settled down, stopped mimicking this boy and started raving about another young boy who was now his best friend. Mission accomplished!
Yet as I continued to volunteer in J's class room I saw so much more in the misbehaving boy, besides his loud distracting behaviour that often got him sent to the principals office, I caught moments of brilliance, and a child wise beyond his years. He was smart, really really smart, he could read, he used language that far surpassed the other 4 year olds. I wondered what his home life was like and how such a clever little boy could be exhibiting these very challenging behaviours. I was judgmental, I had heard that his mother was barely 20, with piercings in her face and and a new baby in her arms I judged, I assumed that she didn't discipline him, that she was probably more concerned with her social life than raising her child.
So here I was this past weekend, casually chatting with the other mothers at the birthday party and from the corner of my eye I watched this young girl struggle with her son, he was being a bully, pushing and shoving, he was not listening and giving her a hard time. Yet she was trying really, really hard, she was trying to be calm with him, she was using tactical parenting skills that any of us would be in awe of, she was firm and followed through with her threats of a time out. I could tell that she was reaching the end of her rope yet I didn't talk to her, nobody talked to her, she was there alone, and not one other parent talked to her.
I am ashamed that I didn't reach out to her, even just a handshake and an introduction, it didn't matter what our children's relationship was, it mattered that she was a mother in need of a friend, and I didn't reach out.
For that I am ashamed.
J had a great start to JK in September, he is a very sociable kid, he skipped on to that big yellow school bus without a look over his shoulder while I stood at the side of the road sobbing like a little girl.
Within a couple weeks of starting school I noticed that he was speaking in another tone, he was mimicking the voice of another child, he also spoke highly of a new friend and I was encouraging of this relationship. Then J's behaviour got a bit more aggressive at home, he was talking back, shouting and being defiant, all in this new tone of voice. I attributed it to him picking up bad habits from other students at school. In October I began to volunteer in his classroom, my first experience in the class room was witnessing the very challenging behaviour of one student. He was being mouthy, disobedient, and rude, and to my surprise I realised that this was the friend that J had been raving about, and it was this boys voice I heard coming from J each night after school. It was in this first visit that the teacher took the opportunity to chat to me about her concerns that J was being easily influenced by this boys behavior and asked if I would like them to be separated from sharing the same table and kept in separate play groups when possible.
I immediately said yes and the plan was in place, within weeks J had settled down, stopped mimicking this boy and started raving about another young boy who was now his best friend. Mission accomplished!
Yet as I continued to volunteer in J's class room I saw so much more in the misbehaving boy, besides his loud distracting behaviour that often got him sent to the principals office, I caught moments of brilliance, and a child wise beyond his years. He was smart, really really smart, he could read, he used language that far surpassed the other 4 year olds. I wondered what his home life was like and how such a clever little boy could be exhibiting these very challenging behaviours. I was judgmental, I had heard that his mother was barely 20, with piercings in her face and and a new baby in her arms I judged, I assumed that she didn't discipline him, that she was probably more concerned with her social life than raising her child.
So here I was this past weekend, casually chatting with the other mothers at the birthday party and from the corner of my eye I watched this young girl struggle with her son, he was being a bully, pushing and shoving, he was not listening and giving her a hard time. Yet she was trying really, really hard, she was trying to be calm with him, she was using tactical parenting skills that any of us would be in awe of, she was firm and followed through with her threats of a time out. I could tell that she was reaching the end of her rope yet I didn't talk to her, nobody talked to her, she was there alone, and not one other parent talked to her.
I am ashamed that I didn't reach out to her, even just a handshake and an introduction, it didn't matter what our children's relationship was, it mattered that she was a mother in need of a friend, and I didn't reach out.
For that I am ashamed.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
What I like about ME- my yearly review
Thank you to Anjanette, a new Aussie twitter friend for sharing her blog post "How do I love me. Let me count the ways..." at http://anjwritesabout.com/ which was inspired by a blog she follows.
In a pay it forward (to myself)kind of way I decided to write my own version of it, and maybe you should too. It might feel good.
This job called "Life" is a tough one, with many rewards and many challenges. We make our way through the daily grind with little direction from anyone but ourselves. This job does not include a yearly evaluation, and we are often reminded of the "areas that need improvement", but how often are we reminded of our great attributes. Even though I work for my family, my immediate supervisor is ME so here is my yearly review, in random order, the things I like about ME, without the "areas that need improvement".
I like that I tell my kids I love them more than just once a day.
I like that even though I am a worry wart I let my kids do extreme and crazy stunts because they love it.
I like that I am a positive person and I don't often dwell on the negative.
I like that I can see good in everyone, even if they are really not that good.
I like that I am empathetic and I always take a moment to walk in others shoes.
I like that I love seniors and have made it my profession to benefit them.
I like that I am sensitive even though it sometimes hurts my heart.
I like that I don't complain about my husband (very much) because even though he is slightly annoying he is way more awesome than not.
I like that I am a good driver.
I like that even though I am overwhelmingly terrified of flying, I've never let it stop me from traveling.
I like that I am Serbo-Croation and that English is my second language.
I like that I am good at learning new languages.
I like that I am a good baker.
I like that I am a good singer.
I like that I am neat and tidy and my house is always clean(ish).
I like that I am a good housewife.
I like that even though I sometimes tend to care about what people think of me, I've never cared about what people think of my parenting.
I like that I call my mother everyday.
I like that I am a thoughtful gift giver.
I like that I send my close friends happy anniversary cards.
I like that I don't swear.
I like that am trying new things like blogging, jewellery making and a healthier diet.
I like that I make my kids laugh.
I like that I am a good friend.
I like that I am brave enough to pack up and leave behind my good life here for the possibility of an even better life for my family.
In saying this, I am also always striving to make myself a better person, perhaps next years review of things I like about ME will grow double in size.
Monday, January 24, 2011
I Remember
January 26th is Australia Day and in honour of this day I thought I would share a few of my favourite memories of Australia. My experience with Australia is far more than a vacation experience, it is a place I've called home and and will soon call home again.
I remember Australia:
The thrill and excitement of seeing the Opera House for the first time, the day we first landed in Sydney, the moment I realized "I'm really here".
The sound of a thousand birds singing outside my window, joyfully waking me early each morning.
The crunch under my feet from the bark of the Eucalyptus tree that littered the side walks.
The long and windy road on the drive to the coast, with a view of the ocean occasionally peeking through the trees.
Spending long days on the river watching my husband wake board and water ski.
Learning to drive a stick shift for the first time and managing to do so on the "wrong" side of the road.
Climbing the Sydney Harbour bridge with my Mom on her first visit to Australia.
Camping at our favourite secluded beach, feeding Kangaroos and Rosellas and wrestling the occasional Goanna out of our tent.
Wearing a fancy hat to Melbourne cup and betting on the winning horse only to find out that my husband changed his mind at the betting window and choose a different horse.
Enjoying Sydney Harbour at sundown.
Hearing gripping war stories from the wise men and women at the veterans home where I worked and finding a new found respect for all those who have served.
Becoming addicted to Australian Television: Home and Away, Kath and Kim, The Footy show, Rove Live and This is your Life.
Waking at sunrise and tiptoeing amongst the kangaroos while being led to the beach by my husband (to be) with a sparkly ring in his hand.
Having the most amazing wedding I could ever imagine, just 22 of us celebrating together for an entire week before the big day.
Honeymooning for 5 weeks, driving around half of Australia in our converted Landcruiser with sleeping quarters in the back.
Fossicking for gems in little towns called Emerald and Sapphire.
Four wheel driving on Fraser Island and wading down Eli creek.
Sailing for 3 nights in the Whitsundays on a 100 year old sailboat.
Snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef
Waking up on the beach most mornings of our honeymoon.
Driving for hours in the Outback on endless stretches of road listening to Silverchair and Powderfinger.
Feeling at home no matter where I went.
I am lucky to be able to call two wonderful countries my home and am struggling with the emotions of leaving one for the other but in looking back on all the wonderful things I experienced I look ahead to all the wonderful things my husband, children and I will experience together as a family.
Happy Australia Day and we will see you soon!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Feels Like Home
I have only been tweeting for a short time, I started mainly to follow celebrities and by chance I came across another "commoner." A Mom like me who was tweeting just for the fun of it, so I followed her and then followed some of her followers who were also doing the same. Before I knew it I had a network of Moms in my life. Some had blogs, some had small businesses, but all in all we were the same. Just a bunch of Moms looking to connect, a way to escape our hectic, demanding and overwhelming lives. "Twittering" with Moms is like being at a giant playgroup without the kids constantly interrupting our conversation. We talk about our children, their feeding habits, washroom challenges, and developmental breakthroughs. We swap recipes, talk trash TV and complain about our husbands.
No matter what time of day or night, there is always someone on Twitter, people from all corners of the world, in my case mostly Canada and Australia.
I've grown quite attached to Twitter in a short period of time, my husband thinks I may have a problem but I need stability at this time in my life. I am giving up so many things to move to Australia to be with his family and friends. Don't get me wrong, they are wonderful and I am excited about our move but I need something to hold onto, something that will always feel like home. Although we are still getting to know each other, I am comforted to know that you, my Twitter friends, will be there with me throughout this crazy journey I am embarking on, and for that, I Thank You.
No matter what time of day or night, there is always someone on Twitter, people from all corners of the world, in my case mostly Canada and Australia.
I've grown quite attached to Twitter in a short period of time, my husband thinks I may have a problem but I need stability at this time in my life. I am giving up so many things to move to Australia to be with his family and friends. Don't get me wrong, they are wonderful and I am excited about our move but I need something to hold onto, something that will always feel like home. Although we are still getting to know each other, I am comforted to know that you, my Twitter friends, will be there with me throughout this crazy journey I am embarking on, and for that, I Thank You.
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